End of A Date by ~HislilAngel247

I feel like crying.

As the song played I began to think of you.

And how you put me on your back that morning we traveled to Gordon Moore Park. It was wonderful. We’d stayed up all night on the phone together, and it was morning. Just early morning though. The summer made it feel warm but cooled enough to bear. I loved it. In my Betty Boop K-mart pajamas and pigtails, I walked with you to our little tree spot. Cheesy, overused and tacky it was still stable.  A place to be and a place to escape. Was it during our first year? I think I was still sixteen back then –I could’ve been older. You picked me up in your mom’s car, -jammies and all, and then we rode that quiet morning before the sun was up all the way to the park. It felt like a dream. It still does.

When we got there I was afraid my house-shoes would get all dirty, muddy, and rock covered if I walked in them and you picked me up and let me ride on your back instead!

Hahaha.

I remember that.

And I treasured you so much then. I loved the feeling you gave me to just be with you. I felt so safe, and alive.

Safe.

Alive.

Serene & At Peace.

How little does one get to experience those?

I snuggled against your weight as you bore me upon your shoulders, and smiled at the weather. The spider webs had yet to be cast down, and the grass still held morning dew.  It was so early that no one had entered the park save those walking their dogs. Besides them, it felt like the outstretched park belonged to us.

We past a few dog walkers, and there was this one little old man.

He smiled at us.

Looked at me shy, barefoot, & on your back; and with friendly blue eyes that were unaffected by age said:

“You’ve got you a good ride there don’t you?”

I smiled brightly and laughed. You laughed too. And nodded my head childishly as we separated past him.

Yeah.

You burst into brief little runs to amuse yourself and me before we finally past the worn memorials, grass, trees, pathways, and spiders –to our little spot.

You can see the pond from there, and it was so beautiful and peaceful it still feels like it was a dream. And once you set me down, I just laid with you there. Quietly, embarrassedly, in pigtails and k-mart jammies, I laid down to rest. Shifting and smiling and laughing without really saying much of anything: those moments have become some of my most treasured memories. To remember how childishly happy and naïve it felt to be with you there.

I would love to experience that again.

Would you take me there this summer once again before I go back to school babe?

The hollowed sadness I get inside with thoughts of leaving you for another year is tearing me apart. Perhaps it’s nothing compared to some people’s relationships.

But it pains me all the same.

I don’t want to leave you. I want to stay at that park, and pretend the sun won’t rise.  Like we won’t have to return to our everyday lives, stress, responsibilities, and work. I miss you when we part. Be it for a day or a year, and I –I don’t look forward to separating. Even once we achieve a place together. We’ll still have work, travel, and those moments we leave each other I’ll be sad.

So can I pretend the sun will not rise again with you? That eternity has settled, and that Armageddon has reigned its fire down, and the cleansed earth we both believe in has birthed so together we’ll be forever?

 Please. Let’s do that one more time.

I’ll be waiting.