“You were always kind, but your mind was elsewhere. If I spoke, you barely answered.I always wanted to be beautiful like you. I always worried that you wouldn’t like the way I looked. I was so ugly, lean and angular with big cow’s eyes, big wide lips and no eyebrows. My arms were too thin and my feet too big. I thought I looked repulsive. Once you said, "You should have been a boy” and laughed so I wouldn’t be upset. I was, of course. Then, one day, your suitcases would be downstairs, and you’d be talking on the phone in a foreign language. I used to pray that something would stop you from leaving, but you always went. You’d hug me and kiss me, then hug and kiss me again. You’d look at me and smile. You smelled nice but strange. You yourself were a stranger, already on your way. You didn’t see me. Then you’d be gone. I used to think, “Now I’ll die. It hurts so much. I’ll never be happy again. How can I bear this pain for two months?”
“Autumn Sonata”dir. by Ingmar Bergman